Apocalypse Socks

I am pleased to present the most anticipated blog in the annals of history: Apocalypse Socks. Yes, you are finally getting to read the sequel to my wildly popular blog Apocalypse Footwear. My fans who have bombarded me with requests for more information about how they should care for their feet after TEOTWAWKI are being rewarded!

Most of you will likely be surprised at these recommendations. It is common knowledge that Jackhammer is a huge fan of "technical" fabrics. I own multiple items from Under Armor, Reebok, Magnum Research, Eotech, etc., and have found technical fabrics to be vastly superior to natural fabrics (such as cotton) in every way. High-tech fabrics are durable, moisture-wicking, quick-drying, comfortable, and wrinkle-free. I have adopted these undergarments with increasing enthusiasm, and seldom wear anything else when performing any strenuous physical activity.

To cut to the chase, here is the advice you've been begging for: When it comes to socks, Jackhammer strongly recommends natural merino wool. The Smartwool brand, pictured here in the "Trekking" variation, are my personal favorites and the only socks I buy anymore.

I have been wearing Smartwool socks on a daily basis for approximately 15 years. Although these socks will give you many years of dependable service, they do get progressively thinner over time. The socks pictured on the left are brand-new; the socks pictured on the right are Smartwool Trekking socks after approximately three years of service.

It should also be noted that Jackhammer's socks accumulate wear and tear at a greatly accelerated rate. My whole family has discovered the joy of wearing my Smartwool socks. My wife and daughter often wear them in lieu of bedroom slippers in the evening, and my son won't wear anything else with his hockey skates. His aggressive skating in hockey has caused most of my older socks to develop holes near the heel area, at which point they should be discarded and replaced.

Although they are pricey, approximately $20 per pair for the thickest "Trekking" variation, they are worth every penny. I am speaking from experience here. In an attempt to save money I have experimented with diverse other brands, such as the Under Armor and 5.11 Tactical boot socks pictured here.

Unfortunately, I have found that there is simply no substitute for natural merino wool. In this case, nature cannot be beat. Your feet will stay warm in winter and cool in summer. In a pinch, these socks can be worn for many days at a time and your feet will remain comfortable. On extended hikes spanning a week or more, I have found that they can be renewed by simply washing them out in a creek, pond, or any other water source. After being hand-washed and air-dried, they are once again fully serviceable. When the grid fails, you will appreciate this feature!

In summation, my friends, don't cut any corners when it comes to your feet. Stockpile plenty of these socks - as well as the footwear recommended in the earlier post - and you won't have any problems with your feet after the apocalypse.