If this machine isn’t used every 30 seconds, it goes into “Powersave” mode – which basically means that it shuts down and won’t do a damn thing until it warms back up again. I often become enraged when I’m standing in front of it waiting for my document to print. While I fidget in the workroom, the printer’s LCD screen slowly scrolls an endless list of stupid messages every fucking time I try to print something:
WARMING UP……….… CLEANING……...… CALIBRATING……...…CHECKING SUPPLIES….…ORDER YELLOW TONER SOON…. VERIFYING……. TESTING….… GENUINE HP SUPPLIES INSTALLED….… PRINTING…….
All this drama before printing is very confusing to me. If the printer really does need to constantly clean, calibrate, and do a bunch of bullshit to itself, why doesn’t it do those things when nobody is using it? Why does it wait until I’m trying to print the final draft of my report, seconds before The Big Meeting, to perform all those stupid maintenance tasks? Better yet, can’t it do all that crap after it prints my document so I don’t have to stand there waiting for it to finish masturbating?
But even after I finally get the printer to function, I’m not out of the woods yet: The only thing worse than the network printer is the office copier.
Like the network printer, the copier automatically switches into “sleep mode” to save electricity whenever it’s not in constant use. Somehow it is able to slip into “Powersave” mode in a split second… but then it mysteriously takes several minutes to warm up whenever anyone needs to use it. Then, like the printer, it’s got to calibrate itself, check toner levels, and do 10 other self-maintenance tasks that it could have been doing when nobody was using it.
I’m wondering how much money the state is saving by activating these tree-hugging features. I’m guessing that these infuriating lapses into “Powersave” are saving the government about five bucks a month in electricity costs. A good thing, right? But when you consider the fact that the state is paying me $4.50 an hour for my time, and that I have to stand there doing nothing while the office machines slowly fight their way back to consciousness, the overall savings are either negligible or non-existent.
Does that copier say "Wait - Cleaning the wires".
ReplyDeleteWe had one that did that I was always wondering "WTF Wires need to be cleaned so much?"
As an offical luddite (Blackberry - Hahahha!), I hate this crap. I like machines that do one function and do it well.
I think that's why I like Ferraris. No, Ferrari would never stoop low like Porsche and build an ugly "what for" SUV. They go fast and that's it. You want groceries? Tell you wife to get them in her truck.